Travis has given the go ahead to start trying, officially, for another little Moser. He told me that I was not allowed to become obsessive about it this go 'round. I agreed, I don't want to put myself or anyone else through that ever again. This is our first month TTC (trying to conceive, for your fertile myrtles out there) and I am already "late" with a BFN. I seriously pray that it's not going to be like it was before. Many people aren't aware that there is such a thing as "secondary infertility." It is real and it does exist, especially for people who had babies after being diagnosed "infertile." Travis and I are that couple. I am not claiming secondary infertility, I refuse to accept it. I will not be bound by the devil of doubt, I won't. I am not going to drive myself nuts either. If we just have our one precious boy, then he is all we can handle. Do I want more children? Of course, but I don't want to become that crazy baby-making obsessed woman I was before. There is nothing sadder than a woman who is in desperation over becoming a mother. Believe me, I have been there. All that aside, I am excited to try but at the same time I am keeping my emotions in check. I still get that sad feeling every time only one line shows up on the test, but I know I am blessed because I do have a miracle asleep in his bed at this moment. I just wanted to let everyone know it is official, because our past struggles are not far from our minds. I have friends who are still longing to be parents and I don't want to overwhelm them in any way. Just a short note, to give you a bit of where we are in our lives.
Christmas was a blast. TJ made out like a bandit and, like we have done every year since his birth (OK...only since last year), we explained the reason behind Christmas and who St. Nicholas really was. We watched the Nativity story, opened gifts, made cookies, spent time with family, and celebrated the birth of our Lord. It was a great time to be with family. TJ got to spend Christmas with his extended family for the first time, which was great because he loves playing with his older cousins and showing off for his grandparents and aunties. My boy is a joy and he is so awesome. He is the best thing to ever happen to me on this earth. I pray his sweet spirit and joyful attitude stay with him for eternity. How was your Christmas?
