Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Here or there?

The process of moving on from the major changes in our life has been a rough one, but I am happy to say that our family is adjusting well (adding a dog into our crazy little family has definitely helped!) and we don't wish for our past life every day like we used to.  I can't really speak for T, but I know he misses the Army.  I miss being able to stay at home with my son and I miss being a part of something.  I think that is what I struggle with the most, although not as much.  Some days I am very thankful that T is out of the Army, because he does get to be with TJ and I and I know he is safe because I know where he is.  Other days, like today, I feel like I don't fit anywhere...not an "army wife" but not really a civilian?  It is very difficult to describe, I am certain I am not the only one that has experienced this feeling.  I don't dwell on these feelings, because they only make me sad and want to be where my sisters are.  I try to press forward and look for the blessings in my life, and there are many.  We have a beautiful home, we are both working and we are able to keep up on our bills, TJ is in a great daycare and loves to be around his cousins.  I remind myself that God does everything for our benefit, even it is all jumbled and very frustrating.  I am so glad these sad days are becoming few and far between.  I texted one of my sisters today that I missed her bunches, I miss all my sisters bunches.  I wonder how they are doing, how their children are doing, if their husbands are safe.  We all keep in touch and I am so thankful for email and facebook, where would I be without it?  One of the worst parts for me?  Knowing that we won't be moving in 2 years...I know it sounds crazy, but we have moved every 2-3 years since 2006 and I find that there are still unpacked boxes and I wonder if subconsciously I didn't unpack them "just in case."  Don't get me wrong, I am not upset or anything and I am very happy where we are..I am just having one of those days ya know?  This too shall pass.  :)


God bless ya!
Sally

1 comment:

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