Been awhile...

Just wanted to let everyone know where we are at right now. We started seeing a new German RE, named Dr. Matu and he is a God send, believe me! This man has helped countless couples conceive and he tells us that he sees us pregnant within 6 months....all this he says before he runs any labs or scans. I am thoroughly impressed. He is a sweet man, intelligent doctor, and a very compassionate one as well. He even let Travis in on the conversation which most docs do not. Travis FINALLY understood (from a males point of view) everything that was/was not happening with our fertility. Travis now has to go to Homburg to have a sperm analysis (SA) done to find out how many/quality/etc. I have already had many blood labs ran and a scan to map out my uterus and ovaries....which had absolutely no follicles or cysts....so we are thinking that I do NOT have PCOS (thank you Jesus). However, we are not out of the woods just yet as we need to make sure my ovaries are producing good quality follicles and eggs and that we dont need any ovulation inducing meds. I go back in on Thanksgiving day to have another scan, just to see if we have follicles...and please pray that we do!! So as far as our fertility, that is where we are!!

Moving on to other things, Travis is really becoming excited about becoming a daddy and it shows. I went downstairs the other day to grab some baby clothes, as I was going to go through them and give our brothers the extra stuff, and Travis and I were looking through the clothes just oooing and aaahing about how cute they were. For the first time, he actually picked up a onesie and looked at it like he was imagining his son wearing it....talk about a tear jerker!! So needless to say, I am thankful to God that He has broken the yoke in Travis' heart...and my husband is FINALLY excited about being parents. Speaking of God.....I have started going to the chapel here on post, the Good News Service...its a Gospel service here on post and the chaplain comes from a Pentecostal background!! I was really happy that God put that church here for me to go to. Travis and God are still working things out, but I have faith that Travis will move closer to God very soon and it wont be long before he will be in church again. I love God, He is so good to me even when I am not so good to Him. Being back in church has really opened my spirit back up and I am feeling like myself again. I havent been in church since late August and it was really starting to take its toll on me. The enemy really likes to mess with me when I am not in church. Dont get me wrong, I am a STRONG woman of God, but not being in church or around other believers takes its toll on me and the enemy will sneak in through any means necessary. I am getting out of this rut, and I am feeding the spiritual woman inside. Fasting, prayer, and obedience are part of my life once again and it feels wonderful. I am even going to join the choir! The chaplain talked about spiritual gifts and how everyone has at least one and its their job to use it. I knew right away the spiritual gifts I have been given, one of them being my singing ministry. In that moment, I knew God was telling me I was going to sing again....and I love Him for that. Singing for people about God or just singing in an empty room to God....that is what feeds my soul and helps me to overcome adversitites. I know it sounds silly to say that singing helps me...but it does. There is such an annointing in music, and when I sing about Jesus and people hear me....I know that the words I sing touch them deep down in their souls in places they forgot even existed. This isnt bragging or saying that I have the best voice in the world...this simply means that God has chosen me to sing to people and spread His word through music....and I do just that. I love to sing anyways, and I have been doing it since I can remember...this is just a way for me to use my talent for good. I have also been witnessing to people, one person in particular. She is so young and vulnerable and I can see in her eyes that she is hungry for love. God has opened a wonderful door of opportunity for me to help bring this lost lamb back to the good shepard. This young woman is looking for a safe place and a savior, although she didnt know it at first, and slowly but surely I am helping her to open her heart and mind to God and all His tender mercies. So much in fact, that after the first conversation we had....she told me she started to pray. Can you believe that? Talk about warm fuzzies! I knew God placed us in each others lives for that very reason. She is a wonderful person and I hope and pray for her salvation to come one day very soon, and I have faith that it will. If it werent for my spiritual mother, Mary, who never gave up on me after 3 years of talking to me about God and inviting me to church....I never would have given my life to God and I would not be who or where I am today. I know its not easy to shake off the habits of this sinful life and start anew....living for God is NOT easy by any means, but there is no greater joy or peace than when we know we always have a safe place to land in the Lord's loving hands. I love that God gave His life for our sins that we may be able to reside with Him in heaven one sweet day. I love that He said our sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west (one of my FAV songs too) and that He forgets them and remembers them no more. I love that God loved us enough to come to earth and be with us, to experience what we experienced, to live how we lived, to eat and drink what we eat and drink, and to die for us because He loves us. My pastor always said, "This life is just a dressing room for the next life, I am just passing through, thank God this world is not my home." I thank the Lord that famine, suffering, weeping, mourning, death, sin, destruction, war, abuse, rape, murder, divorce, infertility, sadness, anger, and strife will not surround me forever. I take comfort in knowing I will soon be in the Fathers house, with many mansions. I am not where I need to be, but I am getting to where I will be going. Heaven is my home.

God Bless!