I miss Travis like crazy right now. You would think that as time progresses to his coming home, that I would grow more and more excited. While I am growing more and more excited....I am also getting really ancy and irritable. Is this normal? Hmmph...who knows? Call me psycho...but deployments/R&R's/block leaves/exodus's/redployments/etc. are all very emotionally challenging, are they not? I do love being an army wife, even though there are stereotypes that come along with that title, however....this life is testing. You can make and break relationships in a heartbeat, you can laugh and cry instantaneously (sometimes at the same time), and the lonliness is very overwhelming. I am counting down the days to when I get to find out exactly when Travis returns. I pray for patience and peace of mind, because both seem to be far from me lately. School starts on Monday, and believe it or not, I am thoroughly excited about that. I am anxious to re-learn Algebra and English. Scary thought though, considering I haven't been in school in over 7 years. *Yikes* One wonders where the time flies, huh? Moving to Deutschland will be a task as well. Managing school, a HUGE move, trying to plan a family and all that jazz.....I say bring it on. If Jesus is for us, who can be against us, right? AMEN! I hope Germany has an infertility clinic, so Travis and I can continue our treatment. Having to put the adoption on hold was a really hard decision for both of us to make, considering all the time and money that was put into it in such a short amount of time. We want this to happen naturally for us. Not because adoption isnt for us...simply because the financial burden can be spread over 18 years, not all at once! believe me, we were READY for a baby....didnt matter how we got it. RIght now though, we pray for God to bless both of our bodies and let us create our own child and SOON! There we go with that patience thing again....sheesh. Some people call me crazy for doing what I do, saying what I say, believing what I believe, and so on. You know what I say? You can call me crazy all you want to people...because to be perfectly sane must be a bore. Who is perfectly sane anyway? I am so sorry to disappoint some of you, but God didnt make anyone perfect in body or mind. Insanity rests within all of us, at least I am willing to admit to mine at times. I had this really weird dream last night about Native Americans doing spiritual dances and it was actually quite cool. DId you know that each movement in a dance is telling part of a story? Like the native Hawaiian dances. My dreams are often very spiritual. I notice that after a really tough day, my dreams are peaceful and God councils me and ministers to me through my dreams. However, after a pretty good day my dreams are usually pretty scary in nature...testing my faith...which can be unnerving. I have a lot on my mind right now. I miss my family back home something awful, but I miss my husband more. I cant wait for the day I get to see him...but I know I have to wait. I want him to hold me, hug me, kiss me, squeeze me, and look into my eyes and tell me how much he loves me. Somehow, whenever I am in a mood or have an attitude....Travis makes it all better. There is nothing better than the sound my true loves' voice, telling me everthing is going to be ok!
God Bless!
Sally
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