Have you ever reached that point where enough is enough? I have. My son has developed a mean streak and it seems to be aimed at me, as he hit me and then stabbed me with his fork this evening at dinner. The dog peed in the house twice tonight after being taken out. After this sudden flare up of agitated-ness, I literally had to speak in a calm manner or I was going to lose it with my son and my dog. I changed TJ's diaper and put him to bed and then I took the dog outside and put him in timeout in his crate. I am not a spanking mom...but I was so tempted tonight. If this is just a taste of what they call the terrible 2's....I am going to be needing a lot of green tea and prayer time. I am finally seeing the end of this depression streak and I am so thankful because I am starting to feel like myself and not some out of control woman. The move, the transition, the unknown, the whole change within the last year has really hit me hard...not to mention I was dealing with a late onset of PPD. I don't normally speak about these things because they are rather personal, but I feel like why should I be afraid of what someone else is going to think or say about me? I mean, yeah it would hurt my feelings at first, but then I just remember that those people are not God and their approval is not needed.
I have had some really bad days this past year and even a few stretches of weeks where I thought I would need to speak with someone. God knows my heart, and how because of my past I am extremely reluctant to go that route. He has provided me with some awesome people in my life that seem to know just when I need them. Sometimes I get so lost in what goes on my little world that I forget other people go through stuff as well. This is what lead to me over-react in a situation and make a very poor decision. Thankfully, God had his hand in this circumstance rather quickly and restoration was possible. The point is I am finally getting my breakthrough and I am glad because it has been a very long while since I have played my guitar or wrote any music (and those of you who know me, know that I live/breath/sleep music).
I have also picked up the art of crochet. I made a washcloth for TJ's kitchen, am making a surprise for a friend, and have attempted a beanie...only to tear it apart twice now. Practice makes perfect!
I feel a lot better after getting this off my heart. Thanks for listening and God bless you.
~Sally
2 comments:
hey hun i just want you to know that from day 1 i have always found it best to talk about your ppd problems its hard and you do feel horrible but i have been to psychs and therapests and all that since james was born and on medication to help but i totally understand the thoughts the feelings and everything that goes with it ...never let it make you feel like bad person or mom or wife or anything its hard very very very hard and it does take the best of you at times but i have always been very open about all of my issues with ppd and all that ....please if you need to talk talk to me i dont care what time of day if you need to talk about something call me ...i have helped and talked to many people that have had the same issues and a lot of them have been afraid to talk about it and afraid of what people have thought ...and me being so open about it has set a few people back cause they dont know how i can be so open about it but it does help people ...anyway im here to talk or whatever you need ppd is a serious thing and not to joke or be taken lightly ...love you ...feel better
ashlee
Hey Hun,
Don't worry about what others think of you because those of us that know you, love you. Whether you want to talk publicly about your PPD, is your call, but never worry about talking to someone professionally. Asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness. Thanks for being such an awesome friend!
Post a Comment