After the horrible experience with the methyldopa (the massive swelling) the doctor wanted to put me on zoloft. I am very leery of antidepressants; they make me zombie-like...but I went ahead with her advice and started taking it. I am aware that these drugs take some time to "build up" in the system, but it is my firm belief that any type of drug introduced into the body (in any form) can have an affect at any time (i.e. the severe edema experienced not even 24 hours after the initial dose of methyldopa). Well a little after two weeks of taking the sertraline (zoloft) I started to notice MAJOR mood changes and differences in my thought patterns. I was becoming depressed and I know depression like the back of my hand; crying bouts, thoughts/feelings of utter despair, lonliness, etc. At first I thought it was perhaps my cycle starting up, but then I noticed that I started to become more apathetic in my daily activities/routines. After some prayer (which I was even finding difficult to have any interest in) I decided to do some research on zoloft and the potential risks and side effects. So glad I did my research, as I found that a lot of people who were prescribed zoloft for symptoms other than depression, often experienced abrupt changes in mood, behavior, or thought patterns. In short, people who are not depressed should not take an anti-depressant, because it can actually CAUSE depression! After a particularly bad episode (because I had still continued with the zoloft) I was really feeling, in my gut, that something wasn't right. I spoke with two different people about my issues and after some prayer and more research (of course), I decided that I had had enough. I stopped taking the zoloft and two days later I finally felt like the clouds were lifted away from my head (if that makes sense). I felt as though I had been walking in a fog. Now, I have been depressed before, I have suffered PPD...but this was a completely different feeling for me. I have been off for five days and I am feeling more me-ish again. Self-medicating (or self-unmedicating) isn't usually my style, but I have found that I really need to voice my opinions more in my doctor/patient relationships; too many times in the past have I just sat idly by and let my life be controlled by doctors who didn't want to hear my concerns or comments but would rather get me in and out. I trust my body, I know when I am sick, I know when I am fertile and when I am not, I know when something is right and I know when something isn't. We, as human beings, should take more control in our healthcare and start at home. Get to know our bodies and our minds, and our souls. Why are walking blindly into a doctors office and accepting whatever pill or medical jargon they want to throw our way? Am I completely discounting the medical profession? Absolutely not, but we must be the first line of defense in our health. Take care of ourselves, learn to heal from the inside out and all that. I am speaking to myself here as well. Even when it came to the birth of my son, I LET them walk all over me. I LET them take complete control of his birth and both he and I nearly paid the price. I am going to go in for these labs and then go into my appointment. I know she is going to react badly to me stopping the zoloft, but I will defend my choice to my last. Even my menstrual cycle was affected and this upsets me greatly. Not to mention the weird heart palpitations. If these labs prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that something is wrong with me inside then I will do what I must to change that, as holistically as possible. No more doping me up; I am not doing that again. Some of you may think I am crazy, but until you've walked a mile in my shoes then keep your opinions to yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment