The sad reality we live...

Here you have, let's say, a company who enlists the aid of citizens to perform certain duties and tasks for a set amount of time and for a contracted rate.  After spending nearly $1,000,000 in training, uniforms, equipment issued, and pay...the company then puts these men and women in various dangerous situations where it is likely some will not make it out alive or completely in tact (mentally or physically).  After being separated from their loved ones and familiar places, the men and women are expected to return to their company base and given about two weeks worth of time to "regroup" and get back into the groove of things.  Some of these men and women are missing actual pieces of themselves and/or some of them are struggling with the job(s) they have performed while away and when they ask for help...they receive it in the form of a pill and a bunch of snide remarks from their peers and leaders.  Sure, the company likes to put out memos that asking for help is OK and is encouraged, but everyone on the inside knows it is not that simple.  After some time, and a bookoo amount of "happy pills", some of the men and women feel withdrawn.  They turn to recreational drugs, alcohol, and even self inflicted pain to help ease the emotional burdens they bear.  Because these people give their company a bad name, they are given even more "happy pills" and swept under a rug to keep from making too many waves.  This company has taken completely healthy and stable men and women, because of the extensive background checks and so on, and then uses them until their bodies and minds and spirits are so broken down that the slightest comment from a friend.....causes them to make a decision, one they've been contemplating for a while....and this unfortunate person decides that there is no other option....that their pain is completely unbearable and nobody loves them.  Jesus isn't even a thought in their mind.  This person takes their own life.  A life is lost, a tragedy befalls those they leave behind.  The company will go through the pomp and circumstance of making sure people see that they "cared" for this person....but those close to the company will know that they are really just putting on an act. 


This is the sad reality I live with in the community I am in.  People wonder why I preach or talk about God all the time?  It is because people, like these men and women, need to know HIM.  They need to know that Jesus can pull them from the darkness that looms inside and heal their wounds better than any "happy pill" ever could.  We pray for those who are hanging in the balance; sometimes God saves and sometimes He does not.  I am reminded of the scripture that reads, "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away." 

May the God of peace be with you, touch and bless any of you who have or are experiencing the effects of suicide.  To anyone who may be thinking about it: THERE IS HOPE FOR THE HELPLESS.  THERE IS ONE WHO CAN AND WILL PROTECT YOU AND KEEP YOU FROM THE DARKNESS.  HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND IS WAITING WITH HIS HAND OUTSTRETCHED TO YOU.

This is a really heavy post, and I apologize, but I needed to get my feelings out.  ~One Sad Mamabear

Time keeps on slippin'.....

Have you ever promised you would do something on a regular basis and then before you know it, the thing you've promised yourself you would do....has long been forgotten?  I kind of feel like that with this blog.  I started it as an outlet of sorts, then it turned into this need to keep in touch with family and friends...and now it seems like it is something I do just to pass the time (as if I need help with that?!).  Stress has been the word of the day in this household for the past couple of months.  Between TJ getting incredibly sick, Travis dealing with his MEB stuff, and my juggling school-motherhood-wifehood....it has reached DEFCON 1 in this house and everyone is braced for impact.  Prayer has been our go to tool to fix things, that and family back home.....but sometimes we need to pony up and deal with these problems ourselves.  Granted, God is right there with us but it is my belief that sometimes we are meant to go through some things and He is there in the background to make sure nothing truly heinous occurs.  

WITH THAT BEING SAID.....we are hopefully mere months away from Travis' medical retirement from the Army.  This is an exciting, scary, sad, happy, joyful, and terrifying time for us.  All we have known the last 6 years of our life is the Army way.  It will be so weird not to wash ACU's or PT's on a regular basis, strange that I won't have that fear of a looming deployment...not that I am complaining...because I remember all too well the feelings of uneasiness.  

TJ is also cruising around like crazy.  The kid can totally stand up on his own, he just gets freaked out if there is nothing to hold onto.  He is amazing to watch when other kids are around; he tries to hard to get right into the thick of it with them.  The boy will grow up to be an amazing man, that is for sure.  He loves people and has a bright personality that I PRAY will never fade.  I love TJ so much, it is such a blessing to watch him blossom into who he is as a person; his laughter melts my heart every time I hear it.

Travis and I are doing good; we have our ups and downs but we know that we love one another and as long as we communicate and take care of ourselves, we will be alright.  Married life is not easy.  I would like to know who said that you never have to work at being married?  If marriage was all sunshine and rainbows requiring no work, divorce wouldn't be such a popular reason to go to court.  Marriage requires effort from both husband and wife; you cannot expect everything to just work out on its own.  Remember those vows?  "For better or for worse."  Sometimes people jump ship when the going gets tough....they seem to forget that they said they would be there through thick and thin.  People in a marriage are always going through some sort of change, everyone is in a constant state of spiritual evolution (oxymoron anyone?), mental growth and maturity....so why do we get upset at one another when we notice that our partner is different?  I am a firm believer in fixing problems before they start, and they will start.  So go out there and get the help you need before you both decide to jump ship and leave a perfectly good vessel to its own devices....marriage is a beautiful thing and shouldn't be treated with such carelessness.  

OK, I am off my soapbox now.  I blog for myself too, ya know.  Don't think I like to give advice without speaking to myself as well.  

I am out for now....we are getting a new bed today and this mama bear is excited!!!

SJ

For moms everywhere!

I was asked to submit a "Want Ad" for an assignment in one of my classes.  I decided on a mom want ad, complete with responsibilities and qualifications.  I also had to include an annual salary based on actual rates for the various jobs a mom does from the time of conception through 18 (or longer if your baby bird doesn't fly the coop!).  I thought it was a fun excitement and it gave me a chance to be funny...which I totally LOVE!  So, here it is. enjoy!  Oh, and we are all doing great and TJ is almost walking; exciting! 

WANTED: MOM 4 HIRE

MUST PROVIDE YOUR OWN OVUM!!

Seeking a qualified female candidate to fill the position of “mom” for an indefinite amount of time with the main responsibilities ranging from the age of conception through 18 years. Must be available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day with no question. Hours include weekends and holidays, all vacations will include children from here on out.

Responsibilities and Qualifications include, but are not limited to:

• Housekeeper, maid, servant.
• Short order cook/ gourmet chef.
• Teacher, philosopher, therapist, religious and academic advisor.
• Nurse, doctor, and surgeon; healer of all boo boos.
• Maintenance and janitorial personnel.
• Event Coordinator
• Open daycare during preschool and preteen years.
• Judge, jury, and executioner (figuratively speaking, of course).
• Nutritionist
• Must be able to see through hurt and pain to the root of the problem.
• Mind Reader
• Fortune Teller
• Laundress, to include occasional ironing and scrubbing off of dirt and grime.
• Interior Design
• Plumber, electrician, remover of peas from ears with precision.
• Landscape artist/groundskeeper.
• Must be able to be both mom and dad when necessary.
• Administrative Assistant
• Chief Executive Officer
• Taxi driver/chauffeur
• Must be able to coach any sports team and do it well, and occasionally transport said team.
• Experienced in negotiations and “the talk”
• Extensive knowledge of all things “why?”
• Accountant and bank teller.
• Logistics Analyst
• Computer whiz, to include removing the occasional slice of bologna from the hard drive.
• Counselor, specializing in “first loves” and heartbreak.
• Must possess instant healing kisses and provide them on demand.
• Must possess a nurturing attitude and comforting heart.
• Computer Operator and systems analyst.

YEARLY SALARY FOR THIS POSITION IS: $165,125 including a nice benefits package.

*All applicants who choose to submit an application, please include a fertile ovum with your submission. All candidates who meet the criteria will be contacted with an expected due date. THIS PARTICULAR JOB DOES NOT COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS NOR WILL YOU RECEIVE ANY TRAINING. WE EXPECT YOU TO PERFORM YOUR DUTIES WITHOUT FAIL OR FACE PUBLIC SCRUTINITY BY PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN.

Ah, for the love of babies!!

There is definitely something in the water here in Germany.  It seems babies are being born left and right and other people are finding out about their little bundles 'o' joy, and how exciting it is!  Several of our friends are either pregnant or have recently given birth.  The most recent friends to welcome a new one are our very near and dear friends (who really are like our brother and sister), the Joyce's.  This family has been our family during our stay here in Baumholder and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.  Corey, Jen, Topher, and now Caden, are a great family who would gladly give you the last of everything they had if it meant you'd be alright.  So naturally, I have to brag on my sister and her hubby and their newest addition.  He is SUPER adorable and has that yummy new baby smell (can they bottle that?!) that makes you sniff your hands for hours even after you've stopped holding him.  This is a short blog just to share a beautiful photo-op taken by yet another caring soul; Sarah.  She was also at TJ's birth and does photos for our family for an amazing price.  Without further adieu:    

Jen, Corey, and baby Caden.

I love new life.  I am so thankful for new life and that God doesn't make mistakes!  Be blessed in all you do and enjoy every minute of every day!

Baby fever......

Hello.....is this thing on?

To say it has been awhile since my last post...well, that would be the understatement of a century! A lot has happened in the year since you last heard of us; we were facing deployment, facing the birth of our son, and now we are facing some tough decisions. 2010 saw tragedy befall us and then saw God's love and mercy abound. I am truly hopeful for this year and what it has in store, and it has already proven to be on the up and up. In case you haven't seen him yet, and really who hasn't seen him yet, this is the latest edition to Moser household:

Ah the sound of screaming infants in the morning...

Not many of you know this, but I thought I would share.  If you have read previous posts, you know that T and I have struggled for years to bear children.  2 losses (RIP my angel babies) and 5 years later, here we are.  Long story short, we had a bit of a rough start when TJ was born; he was in what's called "respiratory distress" meaning he had no respiratory activity.  In fact, save for his heartbeat he was not active at all.  Needless to say, praying out loud to God with your husband, your doula, the nurses, and I daresay the entire NICU team that was in the room....let's just say God heard our prayers.  Right when I said AMEN my little man took his first breath of life and cried....and it never sounded so sweet.  Until I got to take him home and 2:00AM rolled around and he still wouldn't stop.  I just thought it was a bit redundant, and I told him as much.


 Remember that deployment we were facing last year?  Turns out an injury from T's last deployment downrange has caught up with him.  It is a very difficult thing to be an Army family and experience this.  Anyone who is in or is married to the military will tell you that deployments are expected and when everyone else's spouse is deployed while yours is home....it makes you feel like a foreigner.  Despite this setback, T is doing what he needs to do, he is recovering.  Who knew that surviving a mortar blast wasn't the easiest thing?  T and I have come to terms with the fact that as far as an active Army family, our days are numbered.  Through prayer, tears, fits of anger, and doubt.....we fully believe that God knows what He is doing and perhaps our Army journey has come to an end.  I wrote about my feelings on this subject a week or so back, and I showed my true feelings on the matter.  I said that I felt like that I was already on the outside...not an Army wife anymore.  One of my friends reminded me, "Once and Army Wife, always an Army Wife!"  I fully believe the same goes for an Army family.  It doesn't matter what happens, because we have given so much of ourselves to this lifestyle that it will never truly leave us and vice-versa.  I am proud of T for what he has accomplished and I am so happy that he has gotten to live out a childhood dream.  He is an awesome Soldier, but he is an even awesome-er (yeah, I went there!) husband, father, and man of God.  My hero always!   

 SGT. Moser!

 Now that I have all THAT out of the way, allow me to catch you up on some other details, and because I am a mother....you know that I have to tell you the latest accomplishment from my little guy.  :)  TJ can pull himself up on anything now and is starting to test his own balance.  It is a pretty neat thing to witness as he holds on with one hand while slowly letting go with the other....waiting until he is perfectly balanced before carefully lifting up the one hand and standing freely.  Of course, if he knows there is someone watching him, then proceeds to plop on the floor.  The little guy is just amazing; he says "Da" all the time looking for T.  He also says "va-va" to me all the time, so maybe I am va-va instead of mama, who knows?   We are also house hunting, and that is one tedious task from across the big pond.  Who ever thought that sitting and staring at house after house could be exhausting?  If anyone knows of a great home in the Summerville/Charleston SC area, please let me know!

Well, that about does it for the update I suppose.  I know, I know....it won't be another year before I update again.  I am committing to posting at least once per week.  Not only is this a great way for you all to see how we're doing, but it is very therapeutic as well!  This blog is not written for entertainment purposes, unless I post about an awesome dish I prepare (a rarity, but it happens). 

Tschuss!
Mama Bear

He's an on time God...but apparently I am LATE!

Hello all! It has been over a year since our last post....this just proves that procrastination and I need to part ways, does it not? First, I want to give the glory to God and honor His holy name because of everything that He has done for us this past year. Secondly, I want to apologize for being so late on the updates. Life happens, people get on your nerves, you get stuck in a rut, and God pulls you out by doin' something wonderful. This is our life. Where did we leave off last? Oh yeah, it was Feb. of LAST YEAR (do you see how bad I am about these things?) and we were still TTC. Well, that train has stopped and set up shop for the next 9 months, technically just 3 1/2 more to go because we found out last October that we are expecting! Isn't God good? However, we had to go through some things to get to this point. We suffered another loss this past summer and it was a devastating one. God really shows who is in charge when the going gets tough, huh? We prayed over our lost baby and while I recovered physically and emotionally, so did my husband. When a couple loses a child, no matter the age of the child, it is devastating to BOTH parents...something a lot of women tend to forget. We became closer to each other and drew closer to God for comfort and peace. Some other things happened too...my little brother welcomed his daughter into the world (Sophia Love is her name) and I won the 2009 Operation Rising Star competition for Baumholder (don't hate, it takes guts!). I made some wonderful friends, saw friends leave, and took some time for me. That is what brings me to today! God, husband, son, family, friends,school, self. In that order. That is my life right now. Oh you caught that huh? Yeah, Travis and I are expecting a son! Both of our prayers were answered with this little guy, we call him TJ because he will carry daddy's name. In other baby related news, we have decided to cloth diaper our son. This decision comes with a lot of negative remarks from people. "You won't be able to keep up with laundry", "Isn't that unsanitary?", and my personal favorite "Do you think you will be able to go through with it?" I politely thank you for your concerns, but Travis and I are dedicated to giving our boy the best possible of everything we can. So rather than put some plastic chemical laden disposable diaper on his bum, we are going to put pure cotton and hemp on his tushy. Laundry is never ending for me anyway, what is another load a day? Yes, we will keep with it. From time to time we may have to use disposable diapers (emergency trips, no access to washer, etc.) but TJ will have fuzzy buns for the most part. The nice thing is these are not your mama's cloth dipes. We are talking so easy to change and clean, I don't understand why more families don't use them! JESUS wore cloth diapers people!! :) I have also decided that I am going to do a good portion of my labor at home, because I really want to do this naturally; keeping my son as drug free as possible. Yes, I know it will hurt and yes I know that I will likely beg for drugs at some point...these things I do not deny. However, I am not going for the hero award here...I just have a fear of c-sections and long needles being put into my back. I don't even like getting my blood drawn and don't get me started on IV's *shudders*. Apparently we can't give birth at home, so we will eventually end up at the hospital. That about does it for now. Travis and I are doing great by the way. I am due for another belly shot soon, so I will post one as soon as possible. In the mean time, here is a shot of our little man to satiate your baby need!

Yes, we are alive....

Hey Everyone!

I am so sorry it has taken me this long to update, between school, church, and my music (not to mention Twilight) life has been busy for me. I am taking three classes this time around and a majority of my time is spent reading or online "in" the class. I rarely get out of the house anymore and when I do, I usually fall behind on school work. On top of that I have stuff for church going on and then on top of that I am writing some music and learning how to play piano/guitar. So, my plate is full. I am considering taking a break from EPC certification until things calm down around here and I have prayed over it; I am just waiting for God to answer me!

Travis has been doing a lot of stuff for Rear-D lately, like extra duty and extra staff duty. I am not sure how he feels about his old unit (1-28) as he never really talks about them, he just says he misses Fort Riley. His new unit is really nice, I think. Everyone is very polite and I get along great with all his "bosses."

We are planning a trip to Rome; our first REAL trip since we arrived here last September. God willing, we will be going to see some awesome things. Pray for us, we really want to go!

Thats about it for now, there really is not anything else going on. We miss all of you and pray for you every day.

Lots of Love and God's Blessings,

Travis and Sally

Surgery, Twilight, and stuff.....

Hello Everyone,

Hope this update finds you all well! It has been an interesting couple weeks here for the Mosers! First, I had surgery (laparascopy and small procedure) last week to check for scar tissue in my pelvic area and make sure I have no obstructions in the baby making area. For my first surgery EVER and being that it was in a foreign country, it was not that bad. The nurses were very nice to Travis and I, and my room-mate (yes, you get room mates here) was a nice german woman who spoke English and I thanked God for that! The news is I am free and clear and as soon as my body is ready, we can start TTC again. Even though the surgery was a week ago, I am still feeling a bit woozy and "clouded", as a friend put it earlier today. During the course the past few weeks, I have discovered and emmersed myself, in the saga/fantasy/romance known simply as "Twilight." I have been so into this series, and its hardly like me as I am not really into the whole vampire/werewolf thing, know what I mean? What catches my fancy is love story between to very different, yet similar, individuals. Yes, I have watched the movie and yes it was a bit disappointing, but any book translated to the silver screen generally loses some of the pazazz along the way. So needless to say, you can now call me a Twilighter..and I couldnt care less! In other news, Travis has been very busy with Rear-D and has staff duty several times a month, sometimes even more than twice a week. We are doing great together and are nearly complete with our EPC requirements, which means we are steps away from being able to help military children. The weather in Germany is hard to get used to, but at least there isnt snow to speak of (thank God!). I miss the sunshine of Kansas, even with the whipping winds and all that. Guess I should start taking some vitamin D to supplement huh? Thats about it for now, thanks for stopping by! God Bless!!

~Sally

PRAISE GOD!!

Travis went in for the results of his x-rays today and was told that the curvature in his spine and the uneven-ness of his shoulder had disappeared and it appears that he only has a knot in his muscle that is working itself out. I am so happy, and I know that this isnt anything but God's work and the prayers of all our family and friends. This is the best news today by far! Thank you so much to all those who kept Travis in your thoughts and prayers...they were definately heard. "By His stripes, we are healed." I have been praying that God would reveal Himself to Travis in a big way, to encourage Travis to reconnect with God, and I pray that this is it! I am so excited I am walking on cloud nine, giving God all the glory and praise that He deserves!! Oh yeah, Travis gets his CPL rank today (not Sgt, but he is one step closer).

Thank You Jesus!!


~Sally

Small update...

Well Travis was able to go in for his x-rays yesterday. He had to wait another day because their machines were down. He was supposed to go back in this morning to discuss the findings, but his "boss" had other plans. Travis and I talked about it the night before last and yesterday, and we decided no matter what happens, we are going to be happy with whatever God has planned for us. The WTU here is awesome, if he needs to go there, and I know that we will have everything we need. We will be just as happy if we get to stay, because we love this lifestyle; good and bad. More than anything though, his health is what is important. We are still praying for his back to have no problems. God can heal. I know he can. Travis and I appreciate the many prayers that you all have sent us are saying for us. Nothing lifts a soul like prayer, and believe me...its needed. We continue to pray for all of you as well. In other non-bad-news related...er..news, Travis and I are getting closer becoming EPC parents. We took our CPR class yesterday and passed the exam straight after class, WOOHOO! I am taking the First Aid class today, and hopefully I pass that one too. After that its just a matter of submitting the application, one joint interview, and one more health and sanitation inspection...then BAM! we will be official EPC parents. We got a really good recommendation from Travis' Captain, who is a really nice man that just happens to go the same service we do. I was also asked to sing at another memorial service, and I told them I would, but I really needed a break..those things take a toll on a person. I didnt have to sing, because they found someone else. It was nice to have a break.

I re-read my new years resolutions for this year and yes...I already broke one. But you know what? Its ok, because sometimes you have to fail to succeed. I dont really feel bad about anything anymore. God and I had a really long talk, and He told me that if He can take care of a lily in the field and make sure it has everything it needs...then He most certainly can take care of me. Thats the one thing about God that I love so much. He lets me try to figure it out on my own, and just when I think I am going to fall over the edge...He catches me, every single time. I am not a perfect Christian...nobody is, no matter how much they try to make it seem like they are, but everytime God pulls me back, I resist Him less and less. Almost as if I am learning my lesson, slowly but surely. I am thankful that this world is not my home, and that I am just passing through.

School starts in less than 2 weeks and I am so excited about it!! I have always been a bit of a nerd, lol. Algebra, Philosophy, and Communications...thats what I am taking this time around. I hope that I can make up for the several months I was out of school because of the move....aaa, I know I will.

We are planning a trip to Paris!! We hope to be able to go within the next month or so. It wont be a very long trip, because the girls will need to be tended to, but it will be long enough to enjoy!! I cannot wait to the city of love!! Oh, and it snowed here recently....I took a pic of part of Baumholder, enjoy! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

~Sally

Testing, testing....is this thing on?

As most of you know, Travis was injured within the first 60 days of his deployment. A vertebrae in his spine was fractured, and he was allowed a week or two rest. But because of the nature of his job while deployed, I am quite certain that his back did not have a chance to heal properly, and he has been having problems with it ever since. He has been really leary of going to the doctor about his back pain for the same reason any soldier who doesnt want to get "med boarded" out; he loves his job too much to lose it. Truth be told, I empathised with him, but when he started to complain of his left side going numb more and more...I told him he needed to get it checked out. He finally went into sick-call today, for those that dont know...its where soldiers go first thing in the morning to get any potential medical concerns checked out. The doctor he saw told him that his shoulders are uneven and that his spine has a curve to it. She doesnt think it is scoliosis (which is what I initially thought) because this would have been detected prior to his enlistment in the Army. Instead she said it may be due to tightened muscles on one side, causing this uneven-ness. She prescribed him muscle relaxers and is having him go back tomorrow for some x-rays, with a follow up on Wednesday. Aside from my husbands health, I am concerned for his career. I have been praying for a long time that God would heal Travis' back, but God is taking His time with this one...among other requests I have. I know that He will never leave us nor forsake us...but its still hard not to worry about Travis or how we will survive if he has to leave the Army. Travis said he isnt worried, and I told him that I was giving this to God, because this is one problem even I dont have an answer to. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to us its a very big deal. I am trying to be optomistic and trust God knows what He is doing, but at the same time I cannot help but think of the "what if's" of the situation. All this on top of Travis' Christmas gift still not getting here and my school books not here either. My classes start in two weeks and I have no sign of my text books. So far, 2009 has not started out very well. Getting pregnant doesnt even seem that important to me anymore at this point. Can you believe I just said that? WOW. There are bigger fish to fry and right now I think children would make things a little more stressful. I know the Lord will tarry and everything will work out..but what will the end result be? I dont know....its not my place to know the future. As the subject of this blog implies....I am speaking to God but I wonder if He hears me. I am asking for your prayers that everything works out. Pray for Travis that God would heal his back and make him healthy, both spiritually and physically. Travis' faith is shaky right now, and he needs God to reveal Himself in a big way. I thank you all for your undying love and support. The Moser's have had a rough couple of years, and knowing that you all stand with us in prayer and love..makes the hardship worth while. Of course, if it werent for God we wouldnt have a chance...but that goes without saying. I know it seems my blogs have been a little on the negative side lately....but with all the small issues adding up and no solution in sight for us...it has been hard to find the silver lining. We love you all, and miss you so very much. I will keep you posted on what goes on.


Thanks and God Bless

~Sally

2008 Year in Review

December 2007: That was the month of the big ice storm which knocked out power to nearly all of Fort Riley's residents and all other surrounding areas. I bought a new laptop to take with me to my mom and dads, who I visited over Christmas. Travis was still down range.

January 2008: I had been out of work now for just about 3 months and was really starting to go stir crazy. I spent most of January hanging out with friends and waiting for Travis to get home.

February 2008: I got a nice bouquet of flowers from Travis and celebrated the 1 year mark of the deployment with some friends. This is also when Jane moved back, and I was happy to accommodate Jane, her dad, and Corbin for the night.

March 2008: We started to hear rumors about when the guys were coming back. Nobody could say for sure, but we all had a feeling it would be within the next month or so. I also celebrated St. Patricks day with Lisa...who is 100% Irish by the way! She cooked a real Irish feast...yumo! This month, however, was not so good for some of us though...as we lost another young man from our unit. While I had only been acquaintences with him, he was a good friend of Travis' and well loved by C Co. RIP O'Brien . His was the first memorial service I had ever gone to.

April 2008: Travis redeployed this month!! Could not have asked for more. He was one of the first people home, who came with the big crowds. April for sure, was the best month for me this year. The Moser's were together again. This month also marked the year anniversary for me attending Grace Community Church, the church that will always feel like home to me. This month we also bought the TV that is now in our livingroom. TTC officialy resumed this month, which high expectations.

May 2008: We went on a much needed and much deserved vacation to Florida. Then we trecked back home to visit family and friends. It was wonderful to see Travis interacting with everyone, home where he should be. We also bought our Garmin GPS this month....something I had wanted for a long time! My niece Isabell was born this month, she is a beauty! BFN.

June 2008: We started to go through our house and set aside items that we were going to donate, just to cut down on things to pack for our move. Although we knew we would be PCSing to Germany...it still was not a reality for us. Also, had another HSG this month, which revealed that I have a slight bicornuate uterus but not bad enough that it would affect pregnancy, according to the doctor. Another BFN. Pregnant women were starting to pop up everywhere, and I wanted to be part of that.

July 2008: Celebrated Travis' 23rd birthday, went to the Sundown Salute with our good friends the Gonzalez's and had a really good month until the BFN.

August 2008: Travis and I went out to dinner with Br. Larry and suggested we renew our wedding vows. We took up the offer and Pastor Bryan and the church supplied everything for us and FOR FREE! We renewed our vows in a church, in front of God and everyone. This was an extremely momentous ocassion for us both. We were getting in a time crunch as PCS'ing was near. Our HHG and UAB was packed and shipped this month. BFN.

September 2008: We dropped off our car, headed to the airport with cats in tow, and flew to Germany! Our flight just happened to be on our anniversary and the flight crew gave us a complimentary bottle of champagne. We tried it, but found that neither one of us care for champagne. The flight was long and painful, but we made it at last. We also got our USAEUR licenses and rented a car this month too. The trip made AF late, so we thought I was KU, but it turned out to be a BFN. I was really missing church by this point. I also met Renee and Katie this month!! Two very good friends who have helped the transition into Baumholder worth the while. Oh, and my 27th birthday was this month.

October 2008: We FINALLY got all of our HHG and UAB making our house look like a home. We were still having to rent a car, as ours still wasnt here. I went for a referral appt at the health clinic here and that was a disaster, so I started seeing Dr. Matu, who immediately did some blood workup on me and we started the infertility diagnosis. Needless to say, another BFN. I also started going to the Good News Service here on post in Chapel 1. Its a Gospel service and its nice. The service on Wednesday, is full Gospel like I am used to. What a God send!! He knew what I needed, and put it in my life.

November 2008: Dr. Matu determined that I dont ovulate early enough and thats why my cycles are getting longer and longer. In fact, I may not even ovulate some cycles. We had our first thanksgiving in Germany, with Renee and Katie and man was it wonderful! I also made a new friend, Lu. She is German and lives right next door. We got our car this month, and couldnt have been happier! Finally, we dont have to shell out euro to rent a car anymore. It wasnt that hard getting it registered either. I have also taken many classes at ACS, including EPC training. Travis and I are going to become EPC parents, how exciting! BFN.

December 2008: Dr. Matu is getting really expensive, since I have to pay for everything in euro. The chief nurse from the clinic called about my appt in October and apologized for everything that went wrong. She got it to where I can see a Tricare PPN and it would be fully covered (except for IUI/IVF..which I know). Unfortunately, I wont be seeing Dr. Matu any longer, but its only because he doesnt take my insurance. New Dr. is Vander Osten in Birkenfeld. First appt is Jan. 12. We celebrated our first Christmas together since the deployment, and it has been wonderful! I experienced my first Green Christmas here in Baumholder, what with no snow and all. It has only snowed once or twice and melted away. Thats ok, I heard we will be getting plenty more later on. We had a huge Christmas dinner and were happy to fellowship with friends and make new ones. I also sang at a memorial service for the first time, what an honor.

Cannot wait to see what the new year has in store. I have faith that 2009 will be the year of Gods people, and surely He will provide for us in all ways. I know that there were other significant things that happened this past year as well, but at the moment I cannot recall what they are. Thanks for stopping by, and have a great day. Many blessings and love for the new year!

God bless!!

~Sally

Christmas and early New Years Resolutions...

Hello! I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas, and the love of God shone through all the headaches that seem to come around this time of year....kind of a paradox huh? Anyway, we had a great Christmas together and had a HUGE dinner with some friends. I love to have people over for dinner. I am not big into etiquette or napkin rings or any type of formal gatherings...I am not THAT complicated. I just like to have friends over to laugh, eat, and fellowship. It wa really nice to have people over, and we were all missing our families and some their husbands. I feel very blessed that Travis and I were able to be together this year. Even though I was with family last year, I still missed my husband and was sad on Christmas. We had the usual feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni salad, desert pies and a cake, and our friends brought some wings and a really tasty sicilian meat roll and a dirt cake...YUMMY!! Needless to say, I will be doing some extra walking over the next few months, just to make sure this holiday season didnt TOTALLY ruin my diet! I also decided that I was going to make my new years resolutions early this year. I have given them some thought...and here they are.

1. Become a better vessel for Christ, getting closer to Him
2. Become the wife that God wants me to be
3. Trust God with all my difficulties in life and truly give Him all my problems
4. Stop over eating and emotional eating
5. Take better care of my body by eating healthy and exercising more
6. Let God use me for His will, instead of my own
7. Keep in touch with family and friends moreso than what I do now
8. Not worry about anything
9. Do as much traveling as I can
10. Pray every day for an hour, and fast 1 day a week

I know these might sound ambitious and "religious" (did I mention that I dont like that word??), but when my relationship with Christ is good, everything else will fall into place. I am really hoping that I can stick to these resolutions. I pray that each of you can fulfill yours as well...even if you dont make resolutions, I know you must have goals you want to accomplish. Well, take care and God bless. Thanks for stopping by!

48 months...

So we have another failed attempt at getting pregnant.....we have been actively trying now for jut over 4 years (as long as we've been married). That is 48 failed attempts at pregnancy...wow. I was really upset about it yesterday, and it hit me really hard for some reason. I think my mind and my body are getting exhausted, and considering that we dont really have any more money in the bank (because living in Germany is expensive) our finances are exhausted. Yeah, so yesterday was not good for me. I let the enemy steal my joy......not anymore. Not to say that I wont have my bad days, but not like this...not anymore. Sometimes I forget that God is bigger than me and my problems.....I am sorry God. I forget what is right in front of my face, what I have now; a wonderful home to live in, food to eat, a nice car to drive, and most of all a husband who means more to be than anyone else in this fallen world. We are still going to pursue TTC, but with a different mind set...at least from my end. Why should I expect God to bless me with children, when I am not being thankful or acknowledging what is already in front of me? How selfish and silly I have been. Forgive me Lord, for my soul was not right with you. God's word will not be returned void....I know that we will get what we pray for in His time. Thanks for listening and God Bless.

~Sally

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

So we have decorated for the Christmas Holiday, and it is a really wonderful feeling to hang up the pretty ornaments and sing Christmas songs while you're doing so. I love the holidays and all the meanings behind them. Here are some pictures of our livingroom area, enjoy!

The stockings hung on our "family wall" with care...
The angel nativity made from sand-stone.
One side of our living room (just for show!)
A close-up of one of the ornaments...just messing with my camera. Can you see the photographer?
Our Christmas Tree, complete with reindeer guardians!

We have gotten some snow here in Baumholder, but nothing too bad and that is alright with me!! Travis has been on a rather strange detail the last couple of weeks, which is a nice change from him having to do CP or staff duty. Travis has been busy constructing "Christmas Houses" at the DFAC, and he is proud of his work. Here are some pictures of his accomplishments (which is earning him another medal and already earned him some more coins!!).

Travis' most recent addition.

His first 3 houses.

We are excited for our first Christmas together since the deployment and anxiously await the blessings before us!! God is great and greatly to be praised! Blessings to all!

~Travis and Sally

Counting my blessings...even when they are few.

I went back to the German RE today. Not so good news. As it turns out my HDL-C (good cholesterol) is extremely low. In fact, he says, it is the lowest he has seen in all his years. What does this mean? According to the doctor this means that 30 years have been shaved off my life and heart disease or stroke could come in at any moment and claim me!! You know what I say? This is the super duper kick in the rear I needed to get myself motivated...and this is a trial worth thanking God for. Contrary to what the blog title says, I have abundant blessings in my life. I may not have the best material blessings, or lots of people showering me with affection, but what I do have is so much better in comparison. I have life, and after today I am not going to let any sickness or disease take me away from it. Sometimes I get a bug in my ear and forget that God can and does run things a lot better than me...and then He reminds of that by getting my attention. I have been praying for motivation to lose weight and get healthy, for months I have been praying for this. Talk about a shout out loud answer to a prayer. I hear you God and I am not going to let this get the better of me!! I will beat this thing with YOUR help!! So I thank God that I am going to get in better shape and get healthy. I thank God for His blood that covers every sickness and disease known to man, and that He is the great Healer. Today's news has renewed my thirst for the Lord and for life. Sometimes we think we have gotten the short end of the stick and we complain, forgetting that all the while God has already set in motion, a plan for us to prosper....then all of a sudden BAM! His plan is ever so evident. Ladies and gentlemen, Sally will get better. Today truly is a day of Thanksgiving for me. Giving thanks for love, humor, intelligence, good friends, communication, and love...but most of all thankful for the Heavenly Father and His undying love for me and that He loves me so much He would give me the motivation I need to get healthy. I love you Jesus, you are the best.

Germany Pics

Travis and the rented Mercedes...

Idar-Oberstein, Germany

Kaiserslautern, Germany a.k.a. "K-Town"

Our badetzimmer (bathroom)

Kusel Castle Ruins, Kusel Germany

Kusel, Germany

Sally at Kusel Castle

Carlos and Travis, Edelweiss Lodge in Garmisch, Germany

Bavarian Alps, Garmisch Germany

Bavarian Alps

Bavarian Alps

Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany (a.k.a. Disney castle)

Entrance to Neuschwanstein Castle grounds

Travis and Sally at Neuschwanstein

Hohenschwangau, King Ludwig's Childhood Home

These are only the tip of the iceberg as far as pictures go!! The castles here in Germany are beautiful and very famous around the world. We hope to see many more and be on the look out for more pics of our home (we finally have it put together, for the most part). God bless!!

~The Moser's

Been awhile...

Just wanted to let everyone know where we are at right now. We started seeing a new German RE, named Dr. Matu and he is a God send, believe me! This man has helped countless couples conceive and he tells us that he sees us pregnant within 6 months....all this he says before he runs any labs or scans. I am thoroughly impressed. He is a sweet man, intelligent doctor, and a very compassionate one as well. He even let Travis in on the conversation which most docs do not. Travis FINALLY understood (from a males point of view) everything that was/was not happening with our fertility. Travis now has to go to Homburg to have a sperm analysis (SA) done to find out how many/quality/etc. I have already had many blood labs ran and a scan to map out my uterus and ovaries....which had absolutely no follicles or cysts....so we are thinking that I do NOT have PCOS (thank you Jesus). However, we are not out of the woods just yet as we need to make sure my ovaries are producing good quality follicles and eggs and that we dont need any ovulation inducing meds. I go back in on Thanksgiving day to have another scan, just to see if we have follicles...and please pray that we do!! So as far as our fertility, that is where we are!!

Moving on to other things, Travis is really becoming excited about becoming a daddy and it shows. I went downstairs the other day to grab some baby clothes, as I was going to go through them and give our brothers the extra stuff, and Travis and I were looking through the clothes just oooing and aaahing about how cute they were. For the first time, he actually picked up a onesie and looked at it like he was imagining his son wearing it....talk about a tear jerker!! So needless to say, I am thankful to God that He has broken the yoke in Travis' heart...and my husband is FINALLY excited about being parents. Speaking of God.....I have started going to the chapel here on post, the Good News Service...its a Gospel service here on post and the chaplain comes from a Pentecostal background!! I was really happy that God put that church here for me to go to. Travis and God are still working things out, but I have faith that Travis will move closer to God very soon and it wont be long before he will be in church again. I love God, He is so good to me even when I am not so good to Him. Being back in church has really opened my spirit back up and I am feeling like myself again. I havent been in church since late August and it was really starting to take its toll on me. The enemy really likes to mess with me when I am not in church. Dont get me wrong, I am a STRONG woman of God, but not being in church or around other believers takes its toll on me and the enemy will sneak in through any means necessary. I am getting out of this rut, and I am feeding the spiritual woman inside. Fasting, prayer, and obedience are part of my life once again and it feels wonderful. I am even going to join the choir! The chaplain talked about spiritual gifts and how everyone has at least one and its their job to use it. I knew right away the spiritual gifts I have been given, one of them being my singing ministry. In that moment, I knew God was telling me I was going to sing again....and I love Him for that. Singing for people about God or just singing in an empty room to God....that is what feeds my soul and helps me to overcome adversitites. I know it sounds silly to say that singing helps me...but it does. There is such an annointing in music, and when I sing about Jesus and people hear me....I know that the words I sing touch them deep down in their souls in places they forgot even existed. This isnt bragging or saying that I have the best voice in the world...this simply means that God has chosen me to sing to people and spread His word through music....and I do just that. I love to sing anyways, and I have been doing it since I can remember...this is just a way for me to use my talent for good. I have also been witnessing to people, one person in particular. She is so young and vulnerable and I can see in her eyes that she is hungry for love. God has opened a wonderful door of opportunity for me to help bring this lost lamb back to the good shepard. This young woman is looking for a safe place and a savior, although she didnt know it at first, and slowly but surely I am helping her to open her heart and mind to God and all His tender mercies. So much in fact, that after the first conversation we had....she told me she started to pray. Can you believe that? Talk about warm fuzzies! I knew God placed us in each others lives for that very reason. She is a wonderful person and I hope and pray for her salvation to come one day very soon, and I have faith that it will. If it werent for my spiritual mother, Mary, who never gave up on me after 3 years of talking to me about God and inviting me to church....I never would have given my life to God and I would not be who or where I am today. I know its not easy to shake off the habits of this sinful life and start anew....living for God is NOT easy by any means, but there is no greater joy or peace than when we know we always have a safe place to land in the Lord's loving hands. I love that God gave His life for our sins that we may be able to reside with Him in heaven one sweet day. I love that He said our sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west (one of my FAV songs too) and that He forgets them and remembers them no more. I love that God loved us enough to come to earth and be with us, to experience what we experienced, to live how we lived, to eat and drink what we eat and drink, and to die for us because He loves us. My pastor always said, "This life is just a dressing room for the next life, I am just passing through, thank God this world is not my home." I thank the Lord that famine, suffering, weeping, mourning, death, sin, destruction, war, abuse, rape, murder, divorce, infertility, sadness, anger, and strife will not surround me forever. I take comfort in knowing I will soon be in the Fathers house, with many mansions. I am not where I need to be, but I am getting to where I will be going. Heaven is my home.

God Bless!

All over the place.....

Things are going alright these days. I am still very frustrated with our internet service because it goes in and out nearly every 5 minutes, and that worries me for when its time to take online classes. I am not sure if its our computer or the ISP itself...either way it needs to be fixed. I made an appointment with a fertility doctor because I dont feel like waiting on the army hospital here to take its sweet time getting me a referral and my biological clock is not getting any younger. I see him for a consult next wednesday and I am excited and praying that 1.) I get information I need 2.) It is not a ridiculous amount of money and 3.) That this doc and his staff can actually help us achieve a live birth or 2..or 3. Travis has had a lot of responsibility laid on him at this new unit, for someone who was so obviously not ready for it as per his last unit...but thats a whole other cup of tea. This new unit has even recommended him for a good conduct medal as well as sending him to the board to get his E-5. He has been doing a lot of staff duty and other silly details, but he is an outstanding soldier and does what he is told. Lately I feel as though I have been doing a lot of complaining....and I know I have. I have complained about Germany, the people here, housing, transportation, my husband, myself, the computer, the internet, cell phones, our car....whatever. I am so sorry that it has been that way. I am super homesick and not even having the conveniences I am used to is really taking its toll on me. I am a strong person, but it will take a few more months to fully adapt to life outside of the states. I cant wait for our household goods to arrive because all I want is my own comfy couch and bed. I miss going to church and its having a major affect on me spiritually. I need God so much in my life and I need to be around others who love Him as much as I do and its so hard feeling like the only true Christian amongst a bunch of people who go out partying, swearing up a storm, gossiping, and doing God knows what else. I feel so drained sometimes and I cant even clear my mind enough to pray the way I need to. My soul needs restored and my flesh is very weak right now. I have been praying for a new church to go to, and God will tarry for me. The cats are doing well, they have adjusted but miss sleeping on their couch and walking on carpet, lol. They will lay on the floor and get up almost 10 minutes later, they miss the comfy fuzzy carpet under their bodies. They love bird watching here, and because there are so many birds, the girls go nuts!! We are coming up on the anniversary of losing our baby, and it still tears me up inside when I think about it, but really I am at peace overall. God has plans and its not in His will for me to be all knowing about why things happen in my life. Each other, family, minor conveniences, God, church, babies, and our household goods are really what we want right now and then I think the whining will die down. Until then, we are working on it. Thanks for reading and as always, God Bless!!

~Sally and Travis

Moser's on the Move!!!

Moving to Germany is right around the corner for us! We sent off our unaccompanied baggage yesterday and boy did it feel good to get rid of some of that stuff! We are for sure going to try and donate more stuff to Goodwill so we dont have that much clutter. Too many "things" just hanging around collecting dust, ya know? You never really know how much you have until you move. Of course, having a hutch to put some of these things in, would really help! Now we are "practice packing" our suitcases, just to see what will fit and what will not. We will be send most of our stuff with household goods, but our essentials (clothes, shoes, etc) will go with us on the plane, as will Tink and Bell. Travis has been playing as much of his PS3 as he can before its packed up and I have been trying to relax (I've been too stressed out lately). No baby news yet, not that thats anything new to you all but still, seeing a BFN on that test every month is pretty overwhelming. We are just keeping faith in God and trusting in Him to give us children of our own soon. We are supposed to get our car today....well we were supposed to get it last friday but they were backed up and hadnt even started on our car yet. Talk about really frustrated. They were nice though and said that the rental would be on them from there on out, so that was nice. Will update with more when I can! God Bless!

~Travis and Sally